Sunday, 2 August 2015

Confidence

I was really excited this morning. I planned to do my first ever OOTD and FOTD post. I thought I looked really great and was flaunting it to no end in front of my mirror. And then came out the camera. I set up my tripod and put the camera on the right setting, spent 20 minutes trying to find the best place for the photo and then decided that everything was wrong. My bun was too high on my head. I have the wrong shade of lipstick on. My legs are too fat for this dress. 

So here we are. No OOTD. No FOTD. No more excited Katie.

Confidence is a really tricky thing. Sometimes I have so much of it that I think I'm queen of the world, and sometimes I have absolutely none so I stay in my pyjamas all day because there's no point in me even trying to make myself look good. I don't like the way I look, I don't have amazing hair and makeup skills, and I have a very unflattering wardrobe. 

Recently, I have had very little confidence in most things I do. I desperately want to start a youtube channel but I don't think I'm interesting or pretty enough, I feel like my blog will go nowhere, I have no confidence in my college work so I haven't been concentrating on my summer assignments, and I have completely given up with dieting because, at the end of the day, I'm still going to be me. 

It's a very sad thing that this happens to me, and millions of other people all over the world for millions of different reasons. It's so easy to get wrapped up in other people's success that you lose sight of your own, so I'm making a list of everything that I have achieved that I've lost confidence in.

1) I successfully put lipstick on today, for once. I'm really cack handed so lipstick usually just doesn't work, but I took extra care and did it really well.

2) I'm wearing an outfit that is very daring for me. Or I was, until I lost confidence in it and took it off. But the fact that I considered wearing it was quite a big step for me.

3) I took some beautiful photos in the woods recently, which has boosted my confidence for my A-Level photography course. I'm nowhere near as good as other people in my class, but I'm getting there.

4) I've been exercising. And enjoying it. Going to exercise classes 4 times a week has really boosted my confidence with exercising in front of people, and I'm pretty sure that I don't care what people think of me when I exercise now. At the end of the day, everyone is there for the same reason - to better their body. Whether that be to lose weight, gain muscle, or just keep fit. 

5) I've started being quite independent with my cooking. Usually my mum would cook for me, but recently I've been making lots of super easy meals such as gnocchi or pasta parcels, breakfast bagels, tasty smoothies, and even just tins of soup. I'm finally taking the initiative to make myself nice meals, instead of eating the same thing everyday.

These are tiny little things, and I'm sure that plenty of you guys do all of these things easily and amazingly, but for me, they're big things to becoming a happier person. If you struggle with confidence or self esteem like me, take a look at these little tips to see if they improve your mindset.


  • Make a list like I did of all the things you've achieved that you thought you were bad at or had lost confidence in. You may surprise yourself. If you find it hard to make the list by yourself, ask your friends or family who know you best.
  • At the end of each day, think about all the good things you did, or inspiring things you saw, and write them down. Take them into account the next day, and actively try to improve on the previous day. That way, you'll be taking into account your accomplishments, while bettering yourself at the same time.
  • Make a playlist of songs that make you feel big and important. My favourite song to make me feel happy and cool is Sail by AWOLNATION. I don't know, it's just fun to make stupid faces to and feel kind of like an alien. I'm not making sense. 
  • Try something new. If you don't have any body confidence, try a completely different style when you try clothes on. Pick up a lipstick colour you wouldn't usually take notice of. Maybe you just need a change and don't know where to start. Little things make a difference.


I hope these little tips help, and there's plenty of other really lovely tips on the internet, so if you're feeling down, just look some up!

Sorry for the word heavy post! Happier posts to come.

See you soon!
Katie xo